Why should your audience care?

This is extremely important. With thousands of games being made daily it is important to make your game stand out. This can be done with an engaging hook and by discussing how the game or the theme impacts their lives. For instance, in this game's pitch the topic is mental health and the effect of Ontario's lockdown on youth.  Explain how it affects the viewer on a personal level, it can instantly increase engagement. Similarly, you've likely watched a news story about an event and didn't care. Now swap the news story to be about someone you know and it instantly gets your attention. For games that aren't as closely tied to real life events you can give players hooks about your game that makes it stand head and shoulders above the rest. 

Get to the point

Similar to above, games aren't scarce and there is always another pitch around the corner. I find its best to emphasis the key points that players would care about. Players buy the game, not the publisher; they just help you get it done. For instance, in my concept, Bureau of Neurosis I focus on explaining key pillars of the game and gameplay features like Life Reports, Family trees and following each patient throughout their life. By doing this the audience can quickly grasp the direction your game is going and what it is about. Think of it like a movie trailer, what do you want the audience to latch onto so they will go see the movie. Also, this keeps shows you value your stakeholders' time  — its an unrenewable resource. 

Minimize Risk

All businesses, want to minimize risk because less risk means a higher possibility to turn a profit.  Publishers and investors want to make money. It is important to be aware of problems and challenges that the game may face and have solutions for them. You should also emphasis the experience you and your team have and highlight why you are credible and will be able to ship and meet deadlines. I emphasized my experience as a concept artist, showed my portfolio of work and how I can contribute and have contributed to a game development team. As a developer, you should also minimize risk and find a team that can take you from concept to release with little hassle. The more problems, the more money and time it takes to solve it.